Surefire Indicators You Were A 2000s Gay Teen On Extended Isle

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Guaranteed indicators you used to be A 2000s Gay Teen On longer isle because told through all of our resident longer isle Lesbian,
Dayna Troisi.

Spray tans. MTV’s “Area Raiders.” Having an inexplicable crush on Janis Ian. Striking the tongue in another person’s basement surrounded by successful Bunny posters. Usually caught between getting emo and guidette. Getting shoved into lockers.

Each one of these circumstances compensate the strangely certain experience with getting a gay child on
Lawng Island
during the early 2000s. There clearly was surely anything in the water on
Extended Island
, since there are even more homosexuals than
nail salons
. I am aware this really is hard to believe, as suburbia tends to be a conservative wasteland, but that’s what they WANT that imagine. In reality, we’re homosexual as hell. All my personal
and greatest friends tend to be queers from Island of extended.

So, if not one person otherwise relates to this number, I know you spray-tanned, sauce-eating, fist-pumping gays are certain to get it. Enjoy and kindly give the graduating class and move my personal
insta handle
towards lesbians which escaped their particular hometowns and then make more than six numbers now.

Here are 131 indicators that you are currently an extended isle
gay child
inside the 2000s. Indeed, this number is actually loooong because the audience is extra AF– the eyelashes and listings tend to be hella lengthy– they don’t really say “Long Island” for absolutely nothing.


. You’d a GSA in your high school

Therefore advertised you’re only an “ally.”

2. you’d gay cybersex in AOL chatrooms


3. You had a secret Myspace web page

For which you joined up with lesbian groups along with intensive connections with other queer kids littered across America.

4. You covertly saw
“The L Word”
and frantically flipped back to Nickelodeon any time you heard your mommy’s footsteps nearing

Your reactions had been on point utilizing the remote control.

5. You
this dark colored doll

Longer isle gays are always remarkable in bed due to these.

6. You were suspiciously proficient at eating these

7. You believed the Long Island Medium would see you within the food store and out you to all of your family

8. Unattractive
directly girls
insisted you had a crush on them

As if.

9. You’d an all-consuming crush on a punk elderly

Mine had a fohawk and wore safety pins as earrings.

10. “The Perks Of Being A Wallflower” rocked your globe

And also in that moment, I swear we were



11. You wore
black colored lipstick

Because understanding being queer without subverting ~norms~?

12. You used to be darkly obsessed with Sylvia Plath

I am. I’m. I will be. GAY.

13. Your own English instructor had been the best buddy



14. facts Or Dare ended up being your favorite sleepover game

You haven’t lived should you didn’t make an effort to bribe your very best pal into daring you to hug your own crush.

15. You’re inexplicably fired up from the audio of mac ‘n’ parmesan cheese being stirred

Admit it.

16. You’d the perfect homosexual boy BFF

Which lowkey is actually too cool for you personally today, really works in fashion, and hangs aside with a gaggle of right types.

17. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to get Avril Lavigne or perform her

a wrap looked awful on me, and so I know that i simply desired to sleep along with her.

18. You’re regarding
softball team
, or you are a timeless, unsporty lez anything like me, the tv series choir

19. You used to be regarding debate group

And constantly contended pro-choice.

20. You paid attention to Regina Spektor and Kate Nash

21. You sang an obscure monologue from inside the ability program

Mine got me dangling.

22. You had secret rendezvous inside ladies’ bathroom

No kiss will ever measure up into the excitement from the senior high school bathroom kiss.

23. You participated in “day’s Silence”

As an “ally,” however.

24. You’re


scared of being outed towards parents

We came out to my mother at the gyno, because We ridiculously worried she’d tell my personal mother I’d a LESBIAN vagina.

25. You had no intercourse education and also have never utilized a
dental dam

Sorry to all or any you intercourse teacher ladies whom went to Smith College. I suppose you should never sleep with an extended isle lez?

26. You visited Warped trip or Bamboozle

And used Jac Vanek and TWLOHA jelly bracelets.

27. And asked band users from Cobra Starship to sign the human body elements

Gabe Saporta signed my personal boob, and my mom got aside my AIM account.

28. You watched homosexual crap on
and said it was a major accident or a college task

29. You got huge acrylic
because not really homosexuality may when it comes to an extended isle women’s charm regimen

Lesbian fail, but trend winnings.

30. You stained sprinkle tan everywhere some stylish lesbians sheets the first time you connected

Sorry about that.

31. You self


had intercourse inside bra as you were putting on a bombshell push-up bra from Victoria’s Secret

Our breasts looked two sizes bigger than they really happened to be ’cause of these silly bras. I was a 36E with one, and I appeared as if a demented pervy comic strip.

32. You frantically planned to get on
Jersey Shore

33. You didnot have to lay to go to a lady’s house

The one thing that makes it SO MUCH easier growing up

34. home functions were chock-full of belowground homosexual debauchery

The basement is when the homosexual crap occurs.

35. You seemed to find out if the ring-finger was more than your own pointer fist to determine if perhaps you were really a lesbian

As you heard it you covertly viewed “The L keyword.”

36. Or took “are we gay?” tests

We unequivocally knew I was homosexual at 13 years old because Quizilla explained I found myself.

37. You


gay content material on that dark colored website
Ebaums Globe

38. Whenever youtube ended up being designed, you sweatily explored “girls kissing” on your family members’ computer system in the center of the evening

Which brought to…

39. You downloaded porn to Quicktime (this is pre-Pornhub, youngins!)

40. You had to
bring men to prom
, yet still slept with a female that evening

41. Your body fought a person who flirted together with your sweetheart one or more times

You aren’t from Long isle if you haven’t punched him or her when you look at the face at Pride.

42. You used to be hopelessly obsessed about a
directly woman
exactly who skateboarded

43. You had to attend “religion class”

The emphasize of my personal highschool job ended up being obtaining fingered into the church bathroom.

44. “All The Things She stated” by t.A.T.u. was actually your crap

45. You smoked smokes at coastline in cold weather in your automobile

And believed you were so cool and alt.

46. You drove 20 minutes to visit the drive-thru Dunkin’

And even though there clearly was a walk-in one right-down the block.

47. You drove couple of hours getting Sonic in nj-new jersey

In case you haven’t caught on, truth be told there actually wasn’t a lot to accomplish.

48. You drove since your only supply of fun

Are you presently seeing a design here?

49. You held hearing about LIGALY while once you understand you’d rather perish than step foot in LIGALY

Actually loser closeted kids on extended Island have requirements. We planned to party in a dark nightclub, not consume stale donuts in a residential district middle.

50. You had a Ryan Cassata CD

Which you purchased when he visited the GSA.

51. You h

advertisement a crush on a lady which visited a catholic class

52. You “hated” your own mother but invested each day along with your mother

The household codependency is actually real.

53. You missed junior prom

We invested junior prom consuming at welcoming’s aided by the other gays.

54. You centered so very hard on to the ground in locker room you practically decrease over

Jesus forbid a woman thinks you’re looking at the woman education bra.

55. May Die Otherwise Putting On Converse

56. You drew tattoos throughout the human body (because cutting had been too serious)

We had been also sheltered and sensitive to reduce.

57. You went to Hot Topic subsequently left as you had gotten discouraged

Since there had been always a hot dyke functioning from the register, however just weren’t edgy sufficient for her.

58. You happened to be additionally too frightened to enter Abercrombie or Hollister

Since it ended up being dark and smelly inside — and because you used to be extremely attracted to the softball lez greeting teens at door.

59. So that you bought rainbow


regarding DL at Spencer’s

60. “Hairstyles associated with Damned” rocked your world

Every queer kid look at this throughout the coach.

61. So did “The Catcher For The Rye”

And therefore, you became instructor’s dog.

62. You confided in your animal puppy, cat, or hamster

because no person else ~had gotten you~

63. You possessed best friends necklaces from Claire’s with a woman you finished up internet dating

64. You typed committing suicide records as a hobby

With zero aim of actually ever after through, you simply like, needed the *release.*

65. You’ve got an exceptionally morbid, dark, and politically inaccurate spontaneity

See 64.

66. You simply can’t stand Social Justice Warriors.

Very long Islanders haven’t any perseverance for buzzwords.

67. You completely are unlearning all of your f*cked upwards prejudices, though.

Being gay doesn’t turn you into exempt from that.

68. You used to be enthusiastic about 3oh!3.

Inform your date, if he says he is had gotten beef, that I’M A VEGETARIAN, AND I ALSO AIN’T F*CKING SCARED OF HIM.

69. You browse to escape a grim fact, nevertheless only ended up reading publications about young gay teens getting hate-crimed anyway

Or perhaps you had been hate-crimed to be a loss exactly who checks out.

70. You utilize “hate crime” as a colloquialism.

71. You bought

a “gay road” sign on your area trip to the metropolis

And hid it in your cabinet.

72. You installed a Pride banner inside locker and got a Myspace photo with-it

73. You’d a DeviantArt account

Mine sadly however exists.

74. You thought extremely seriously which you relate to Matthew Shepard and Laramie Wyoming whilst having practically nothing in keeping except for getting homosexual

And also you starred in “The Laramie venture,” directed by the strange crisis instructor.

75. You have made insensitive jokes about “The Laramie venture” as if you’ren’t laughing, you had been sobbing.

My best friend and I however get hysterical anytime we state “the shining lights of Laramie.”

76. You had your yearbook and thought who you believed ended up being gay too

77. You were in a love-hate relationship along with your music teachers

78. You dramatically appeared out the shuttle window when it rained

79. You understood every range to lease

NO time simply TODAY.

80. You played 7 Minutes In Heaven at an all-girls sleepover


81. You keep in mind being therefore desperately disappointed you had beenn’t invited into all-girls sleepover in which you’re SURE they played 7 Minutes In Heaven


82. You pretended becoming afraid during terror flicks to carry the friend’s hand

Oldest secret in guide, babes.

83. You consumed your own sorrows in Elio’s Pizza as soon as you had gotten residence from softball training

Despite the reality there have been 10 remarkable pizzerias in a two-mile radius of your house.

84. You had a Nextel walkie talkie phone

Tegan and Sara
had been your religion

86. P!nk

ended up being the confusion

Missundaztood however slaps.

87. You drastically cried in your bedroom hearing “face”

And even though your property life was in fact rather incredible plus mother was in your kitchen generating sauce while your father was actually walking your dog you ~swore~ you’ll resolve.

88. You carried a skateboard around but couldn’t actually skate

89. You shared smoking cigarettes around but don’t actually smoke cigarettes

We forced my ex to transport smokes almost everywhere to look tough.

90. You probably did anything to avoid gym course

The good news is, i’ve a disability. Additional gays was required to acquire more innovative.

100. You said you were bi

However happened to be truly homosexual given that day is long.

101. You went to
Fire Island
every summer without ever before realizing it had been gay middle

HOW did I maybe not understand I was therefore near so many dykes?

102. You completely knew what your wellness instructor ended up being referring to when she talked-about this lady roommate

I’d the most significant crush to my health instructor.

103. You dressed in rainbow sweatbands


104. You spent weekends ingesting around dusty fitness equipment in somebody’s basement

You had beenn’t cool adequate to drink in parking a lot you consumed near to your own mom’s Gazelle.

105. You obsessively curated the myspace leading 8

106. You diverted the interest far from your self by making fun of someone otherwise from inside the locker area


107. You begged your own mom to get you shit from advertisements

108. You binged on horrible snacks like Cosmic Brownies and Kool-Aid after college

109. You played those Barbie dress games online so you may take their unique garments off

You dirty perv.

110. You corrupted your own neighbors by simply making all of their Sims flirt with girls

111. You kissed ladies as a “game” because you had been “acting”

112. You watched “Boys never Cry” because the sole homosexual material in GSA and happened to be frightened back in the wardrobe only a little

113. You then saw “But i am a Cheerleader” and had gotten further scared

114. If you should be happy, you had one
queer aunt
which lived-in NYC and gave you hope.

115. You furiously masturbated to MTV music films

I’ll most likely never disregard the first time We watched the “Genie In A Bottle” video clip.

116. The cool ladies exactly who bullied you’ve got multiple children and work with a



Hey! i am aware we haven’t spoke in a while. Just how are you currently girl?! had been thinking if you were contemplating studying more about Mary Kay?

117. You watched “Then” because of the home shut given that it had been a bisexual event


118. You snuck peeks of titties through 18+ section of the movie store

119. You watched Scrambled Porn Channel on channel 99

120. You experienced the heartbreak of being on mall and watching directly couples keeping hands and experience like that never will be you

121. You have away with making call at the hallway because the instructors did not wish to be implicated of detest crime-ing you

122.  You w

atched “Donnie Darko” with queer artwork children and


to enjoy it to squeeze in

The F*CK had been with that movie?

123. You published I <3 **** on your own laptops

Because you had been also afraid to really create your crush’s title.

124. You cherished “Twilight”

Or thought a smug feeling of superiority for hating it.

125. You had crippling stress and anxiety on
Nationwide Being Released Day

126. You actually believed driving a car of goodness whether your parents discussed homosexual individuals

127. You burned Dvds with custom playlists for girls you had crushes on

128. You dated a woman with an eating ailment

129. You dated a lady whilst having your personal eating condition but hers was more serious so you must give attention to that

Said Long Islanders have unacceptable sensory faculties of wit.

130. You wore men’s


to attract the


131. You evidently have many repressed upheaval, and you’re realizing it you are causeing this to be listing

You are unable to stop cackling along with your best friend the person you survived every thing with.


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